So long...

So it has been quite a while since I’ve felt the compulsion to tap away at this keyboard.

But it’s been one of those weeks…

One of highs and lows, one of gain and loss.

I lost a family member this week. And as I’ve noted before, I am not very close to my extended family, as I live out on the west coast while the rest of the family resides in the Midwest.

But I lost my aunt, a woman I had only spoken to on a few random holidays and actually seen a handful of times in my life. Yet for some reason, her death really hit me hard.

She was a nice woman, the caretaker of the family…but I can’t tell you what she liked, what her favorite color was or even if she was a coffee or tea kinda person.

What I can tell you, is that she was the kind of compassionate, give-til-it-hurts person, that I hope to one day be. And although we were barely more than strangers to each other, she had an effect on my life that I only came to realize in her death.

The world lost one of the kindest people I’ve ever had the opportunity to meet. I never once told her that. And I think that is what is really bugging me.

So as I sit here on Mother’s Day, typing this post…not planning on seeing my Mother (My brother and I sent her flowers/candy) I note another lesson. One that’s a recurring theme for me.

Make the time for those who are important in your life. A 10-minute call every now and again or even a card can make a world of difference. The best folks get the least recognition. Don’t wait for holidays and birthdays…make appreciating those you love or have an effect on your life a daily thing.

So Aunt Janice, I never said it to you, but “Thank You for being you. It is people like you who restore my faith in humanity. I am sorry that I was blind to this during your life, but even in death, you are still a ray of sunshine in a cold, dark world that will miss your warmth.”

New Years 2011

So I usually take time on New Year's Day to talk about the past year, marking the highs and lows. Then dictating what I hope to accomplish in the coming year.

And while I am all for listing your hopes/goals on paper, I am not going to do that.

Instead, I am gonna be honest. You may have seen my previous post about how I love snow and the holidays...In short, I love what they represent: family, friendship and fun.

With that in mind, I always find New Year's Day a bit depressing. It's definitely bittersweet, as it marks the culmination (read: end) of my absolute favorite time of year.

While there will be parties and dinners with family and friends throughout the year, they just doesn't have the same emotional heft that sitting around the table at Thanksgiving carries with it. There is just a lil something in the air, where even perfect strangers will buy a coffee for the person behind them, “Just Because.”

And yes, I know people do good deeds year round, but I think folks are more attuned/open to doing such things during the holidays. I love the refocus on 'what's really important' that the holidays bring as the year draws to a close. But even as exhibited in New Years Resolutions, the move away from others and family, starts on January 1st as people begin looking at themselves and what they want for themselves.

I think that as the world continues to become more (seemingly) connected, folks are finding themselves more and more isolated. The holidays encourage actual face-to-face interaction. Hugs and laughter seem to happen ad nausem. Think about the good-byes after Christmas dinner versus those at a 4th of July Family Reunion and you'll get my point.

But I don't mean to be a Debbie Downer. I love the optimism that the New Year brings. I love the 2nd Chance that it encourages. But I just miss the warmth that the passing season inspires.

So I'll just say to all of you. Remember who and what is important as you are lazing away an afternoon at the beach in August. Remember the smiles shared and the stories told around the holiday dinner table.

As for me, I definitely have some resolutions:

- Travel somewhere that isn't on the West Coast.

- Hit the gym a few times a week.

- Step forward in my career.

- Write a little more and read a few books.

- But most importantly, I want to put my words into actions and make more of an effort to actually see those who are important to me. And if nothing else, let those I can't see, know where they stand.

So I thank all of you for reading this and wish everyone a Happy and Prosperous 2011.

The Next Generation.

So while on a recent trip to the only other town I've called home, I was reminded, oddly enough, of the security guard in my building.

I took a day-trip to Bellingham, WA, as some college friends were playing in a soccer tournament. So I decided to head-up and do what I've always done: sit on the sideline and mooch some beer while getting sunburned.

The soccer tournament has become an annual pilgrimage for me and my fellow Western Washington University Alums to get together and relive the old days...in my case, the good old days.

It is a great time and a fun way to reconnect where we all met and recount the old times while catching-up on the new.

But back to the security guard.

He is an older fella. Approaching/past retirement age, by my estimation. And he, like most folks in my building, pretty much kept to himself offering nothing more than the slightest nod of acknowledgment as I entered/left the elevator. I can't say that I blame him, security guards have the worst job on the planet, they are basically like the police- deemed a necessary evil by most and never there when they should be...except this poor old fella doesn't get a gun, or even a stick! Which may explain his standoffish nature.

However, my perception of this fellow changed a few months back. See, my building requires a magnetic key to enter the front door. A magnetic key that (apparently) requires a battery to operate. Well, one dark and stormy night (it really was), as I was stumbling home, intoxicated, I went to scan my key at the door and “Voila!” – Nada.

D'oh!

As I stood outside, drunk and poorly dressed for a night spent sleeping on the street corner, I began to ponder which corner of the entryway offered the most protection from the wind. After what felt like forever and just as my hope of another alternative began to fade, I looked in the front door and there he was, the security guard.

I beat on the door like a crazy person and flailed my arms about pointing to my key as I tried to pantomime “Technology has let me down again. Batteries suck. And I am cold and drunk, please don't make me sleep on the street, sir. I really do live here! Really!”

Either I am the best pantomime in the history of all mankind or the standoffish security guard has a heart. I'm voting for the latter.

Needless to say, I was able to get into my building and -Gasp- the security guard talked to me!

As it turns-out he, like most folks, is a heck of a nice guy. I came to find out that he lives far away from downtown Seattle as it was “way too pricey for a guy like him.”

So what does a soccer tournament in Bellingham have to do with a security guard who saved my drunk ass?

Glad you asked.

The soccer tournament reminded me of college. The security guard reminded me of my Dad.

I've never held education in a very high regard. School/college was just something that I did. It was not an option.

Until I finished at Western and entered the workforce, it never really dawned on me that folks didn't go to college or that getting a degree was that big of a deal.

But as I sat there at my old haunt, The Beaver Inn in Bellingham, surveying the day-time crowd of 'townies' as we referred to them in college (while looking down our noses a bit) I realized, these 'townies' were more of a reflection of my family than the people I was sitting with.

So does that mean that I look down my nose at my family?

Honestly, I probably have in the past, but as I look at the security guard, working into retirement doing what he has to do to get by, I come to appreciate the work ethic and nobility of the Workaday Average Joe, like my Dad. (I realize like I sound like a pompous above-the-fray a-hole in that last sentence, but it's the realization I had.) *By the way, Thank you Mom and Dad, I couldn't have done anything without you.

It's an interesting dichotomy, being the first generation to get a degree. In theory, the degree will better your station in life. Yet as a result of that education, you begin to see the world differently than those who put you in the position to make that jump.

Now let me say this, having a degree does not make you smarter/better than anyone else...it simply means you were willing to jump through hoops and could afford to do so. I know plenty of very intelligent people who do not have degrees, they just simply weren't dealt the same cards that I was...and many of those folks are no worse for the wear for it.

So how does one rectify the situation?

My Mom, is still Mom. Pops is still my Pops. And I still have my degree and will forever be a lil different than them for it.

Does getting a degree in your early-to mid-20's trump the life experience of those who have been working since high school?

Hell No.

Am I impressed by someone who had the intelligence and tenacity to get an advanced degree?

Heck yeah.
*I know, I just talked down the importance of a degree a couple of paragraphs ago. But they don't just give college diplomas away, there is some work involved.

So I guess I am still trying to figure it all out.

I'll get back to ya when I have it all dialed-in.

Don't hold your breath, my four-year degree took me five and a half years to complete...

Thoughts on Christmas '08

As I sit at home today, alone on Christmas, a victim of the recent and on-going ‘snowpocalypse’ I still can’t be mad.

I freakin’ love snow!

It’s now been over a week since I was last behind the wheel of my car. Truthfully, I have been a bit stir-crazy.

However, the time alone has given me the chance to evaluate life and the holidays.

The isolation and simple work it takes to get out and about only makes the opportunities to spend time with people even sweeter.

See, my family never did a ‘Big Family Christmas” as all of our extended family is back east. So I was never privy to the aunts, uncles, grandparents and cousins crowding around the dinner table that are a staple of the ‘traditional’ Christmas.

So my extended family has become close friends. And as I’ve come to appreciate this year, my extended family is pretty damn big.

I am one lucky SOB.

I could go about naming names, but being me, I am sure I’d mistakenly omit a name or two and the last thing I want is to slight anyone. So if you think you may be on my list…rest assured, you are.

In these dark economic times, it’s easy to focus on the glass being half-empty. (To be honest, it’s my nature to view things in such a way.)

But I think Christmas is there to allow us to see the glass as being half-full.

Very few holidays being people together like Christmas. What better time to realize what you have going for you?

Family, friends, health…all of which are taken for granted most of the time.

Just do me a favor while sitting down to dinner tonight, as you fill your wine glass or open your beer, take a mental snapshot of the thoughts running through your head. I bet there’s nothing about mortgages, job security, etc.

They most likely will be thoughts of family, friends and fun.

These are the things that matter. Remember that.

And while I am a lil too broke to give any gifts this year, I can offer something I’ve found to be of much greater value when given to me, friendship.

Merry Christmas to you.