Is this a coffee shop or a kennel?

So what is the deal with dogs?

More and more I am seeing dog-friendly places.

Which is fine, unless it’s somewhere:
- Enclosed- meaning I have to smell the mutt(s).
- I eat- meaning I have to watch my plate and eat around a damn animal.
- I just feel imposed upon.

I had a dog as a kid. He was a Cocker Spaniel named Tiny. Looking back on it, I was a bad dog owner. Tiny was untrained, barked at anything and was pretty dirty.

I still look back fondly on him. He was a great dog, but I don’t remember the family ever taking him to the grocery store or to dinner at a restaurant.

Maybe my family and I were the odd ones.

Perhaps we were cruel and unusual owners. For most families, a pet is like another member of the family. I’m sure if my parents had left my infant brother at home because he wasn’t potty-trained, more than a few eyebrows would have been raised.

So why leave your dog at home (or at least tied-up outside) when going out for a fine meal? Mostly because my infant brother didn’t lick himself at the table.

There are places and times for pets. I am not saying banish pets from any public space. I am just saying pet owners: GET A CLUE. Though it may feel like a part of the family, it’s not a person.

For example, pets aren’t allowed in hospitals. They are unsanitary. So why should I be subjected to eating around your dog?

Side note: Dog-people seem to be the biggest offenders, though I’ve seen some odd bird people, too,

Anyway, I am not saying I hate pets. I have had my fair share in the past.

I am just saying that in much the same way you are agreeing to a moral contract to take care of the animal you are purchasing/adopting, you too are agreeing to a social contract that you that you will respect others when out and about with your animal.

If that means you can’t get your morning cup of coffee, so be it. You knew what you were getting into when you got your animal.

MLK holiday lacks meaning

(This is a slightly edited repost from an article I originally wrote 01/29/02 for The Western Front)

Well, I ignored this year's Martin Luther King Day rhetoric about the holiday being "A day on and not a day off," and went to the redneck haven Cle Elem.

My friends and I spent the weekend hung-over, exhausted and downright chilled to the bone.
The highlight of the trip was snowmobiling across numerous peoples' front yards, which by the way, are huge in Eastern Washington.

I kept waiting for an old man, front teeth missing, clad in quilted flannel, to come charging across a frozen meadow 12-gauge in hand, yelling, "Git off ma land!"

Thankfully, that didn't happen. The closest thing to it was a neighbor laughing at us after we managed to plow the snowmobile into the ground.

Believe it or not, this experience made me think about MLK Day.

Is it okay for me to buy into and joke about a stereotype? It would seem so because I just did.

And both you and I laughed at it.

But really, what makes that OK? Is it because the butt of the joke is assumed to be white? What if I told a different story? Would the same kind of joke be okay?

Well what if I said I spent the MLK weekend in South Seattle, hanging out with some friends from high school?

The weekend consisted of selling drugs, drinking 40s and big pimpin'.

The highlight of the trip was cruising Rainier in my friend's '64 Impala while hittin' switches. I kept waiting for some strung-out crack head to carjack us while we were stopped at a red light.
Thankfully that didn't happen. The worst thing that happened was that Ezell's was closed by the time we got there.

It seems the pendulum hasn't swung towards MLK's dream; it's just been masked behind meaningless white-guilt holidays, like the third Monday of January, which is when MLK Day is observed.

MLK's real birthday is Jan. 15, for those who want to know, not that I am a scholar on the man. I just looked his name up on Google.com so I'd look smart.

Is shifting jokes and ridicule to different races really what King had in mind?

Probably not.

No matter what you may say when other people are around, everyone cracks racial jokes at some point or another. And there's nothing wrong with that.

The problem lies in the staunch refusal to acknowledge that we all do it.
MLK Day allows for people to announce that everyone else is the problem and that they support their adoption of MLK's dream.

MLK Day has become hollow. It's become a get-out-of-jail-free-card for people who refuse to deal with the real problems facing race relations.

Attending MLK Day celebrations is like attending church on Easter and Christmas, a mere token of something you know you should be doing all year.

Feeling guilty for one day does not purge all of one's racial sins. Sorry folks.

So what can be done to work towards MLK's dream? I really don't know, but a sincere attempt at genuine relationships is a start.

Don't hide behind ignorance and political correctness. Ask people questions if something is unclear.

The only way to move towards achieving the dream is to put all the cards on the table.

Unfortunately, that means admitting your own personal shortcomings.

But that also implies pointing out problems with other people as well.

I do not know how many times I have gotten into a conversation with a white person who was bitching about the N-word.

"Why is it so bad when we say it, but it's OK for them to call each other that?" My reply is to go ask a black person about it.

It may be uncomfortable, but you both walk away from the conversation with a better understanding of each other.

Start a dialogue about race issues to clear up the gray areas. For too long diversity has been trivialized with tokenisms and political correctness.

People should not be afraid to ask questions and answer truthfully, without sugar-coating answers.

By discussing issues of race, ignorance and fear are overcome, because stereotypes will give way to truths.

I'm not a scholar on this issue.

I don't know any more about King than the average person.

But what I have done is take steps toward achieving his dream by implementing his ideals into my own life.

I've had numerous discussions on race with various people and what I've discovered is that I can't change the world and neither can you.

But what we can change is our everyday lives.

We deal with people of differing races everyday, so why devote only one day to fixing a year-round problem? Don't put race on the back burner because you've done your time at the MLK celebration.

King marched year-round. The least we can do is return the favor.

Bags, bags...They're everywhere!

So I don’t know about you, but I have a lot of plastic bags.

I am not a small man. I probably eat more than my fair share, which requires grocery shopping, which brings me back to the plastic bags.

I have a drawer in my kitchen dedicated to storing the 10+ bags I bring home weekly from the grocery store.

So last week, I decided I needed to do something about this bag issue. As much for my sanity as the environment. So I bought a couple of those reusable bags on my last trip to Safeway.

I must say, those things are pretty tough and hold a lot more than I expected…in short, they are a more than viable alternative to the hoards of bags I used to bring home on a weekly basis.

Now I am not calling myself the second coming of Al Gore, but I just shared that story to illustrate how simple it is to do something that benefits the environment. Even if it’s just a little bit.

So my idea with this post is to see if you folks want to share any ideas/tips to make the world just a little greener.

I am a lazy man, so many of the changes I’ve made are simple and easy to integrate into my routine. Hopefully your suggestions will fit that mold.

Here are a couple more things I’ve done:
- Convert all lamps that take regular bulbs to Compact Florescent. Costco had a jumbo pack of CFL bulbs on sale for <$10 last time I was there. They also last much longer than regular bulbs, so less changing of bulbs to boot…a perk for a movement-averse fella like myself.
- Do all fidgeting in your car BEFORE starting the engine. This includes putting on the stereo face, making sure your Bluetooth head set is working, etc. This may seem small, but if you get in and out of your car as often as I do (and most folks do) that is a lot of time where you could be saving gas instead of wasting it.
- Close the door of rooms in your house that do not need to be temperature controlled. I don’t need my bathroom to be air conditioned or toasty warm. Closing the door means I have 15% less space to be temperature controlled.
- Use six-strip outlets that can be turned-off. Many of the gadgets that we have come to know and love, continue to sip the juice even when we think they are “off.” Flipping-off the power strip keeps that from happening.

I am far from the Poster Boy for a Greener Planet, but I think that’s why this is so cool. If someone like ME can make these changes then just about anyone can.

I am not talking about drastic life changes, just some little things that may even save you some money in the long run:
- CFL bulbs use 75% less energy then regular bulbs, that’s savings you will see every month in your electric bill.
- And being more efficient with gas is always smart, since it is money you actually burn.

Please post some of your ideas in the comment section and hopefully you can pick a few ideas up as well.

Portland, oh Portland...

So here I am on the train. Headed to Portland.

Some would call it Seattle’s sister city…

I am not one of those people.

Sure, it rains a lot in Portland. And sure, it’s not unheard of to see Birkenstocks and socks or parkas and cargo shorts.

It, like Seattle, is a bastion of Blue in an otherwise Red state.

But outward appearances aside, there are some pretty big differences between the towns.

I haven’t quite put my finger on it, but something is just a bit off in the Rose City.

I was recently counting the few perks Portland has going for it with a buddy who now lives down there. (Listed in order of importance, #1 being the most important.)

1) Bars. Portland is a drinking man’s town. I love the place. My Portland buddy calls it Disneyland for adults, due to its multiple and plentiful watering holes. And for those who still kill themselves, Oregon is NOT smoke-free.

2) Wings. Fire on the Mountain. If you’ve never been to this seemingly hole-in-the-wall joint in No. Po., you are missing out. Somewhere in the neighborhood of 20 sauces and DEEP-FRIED TWINKIES. (I couldn’t finish the twinkie, though I really wanted to.)

3) Strip Clubs. Somewhere I heard that Portland has the most strip clubs per capita than any where else in the country. And Washingtonians, you can drink in them! I will say most are pretty seedy, but then again they are freaking Strip Clubs. What else would you expect them to be?! One other note, you can order food in them, which is one of the things I find to be a little off about the town. I must admit, I was intrigued by the phenomena on previous trips to Portland. And only recently crossed the streams. And I gotta admit, for something that sounds so good on paper, steak and titties just ain’t right. Maybe it’s just me, but if I want a cheeseburger I want a cheeseburger. I can’t be distracted by naked women prancing around. But on the flip side, if there are naked women prancing around, the cheeseburger can damn-hell-ass wait until later. It’s quite the conundrum.

4) No Tax. This was so cool when I was a youngster. I remember taking weekend trips to Portland to do school shopping or to buy my Sega Gamegear (yes, people bought those things…though it seems like I was the only one who did). It made for some fun trips, but once gas is factored in, not so much on the actual savings.

5) Public Transit. Portland does have a better transit and existing light rail/street car lines. Both of which I have used, find pretty simple and don’t break down. Seattle is way behind the 8-ball on that one.

So there, Portland does have some cool qualities to it.

Though you’d have to be in your mid-20’s or at least act like you are still in your mid-20’s (most Portlanders) to find these reasons valid.

“Portland is a land where people move to become jackasses,” a quote from my recent Portland-transplant buddy.

And I agree.

That is where my problem lies with Portland, a smugness/air of superiority that looms over the city like a big wet blanket. A staunch refusal to admit, that maybe, just maybe, Portland isn’t the best place on Earth.

The war? That’s G.W.’s fault. Portland knew better.

The environment? We watched Al Gore’s movie on TV's powered by wind, drive hybrids and ride bikes…We aren’t the problem.

Music? “Oh, you’ve heard of them? We saw them play here in Portland like three years ago.”

You get the idea.

It’s like all of the kids who wanted to be cool in high school, but couldn’t quite make it happen, somehow found each other and started a town. (I am willing to bet that the average Portlander hated high school for just that reason, “Everyone was so uncool.”)

There is a holier-than-thou aspect to the average Portlander that just grinds my gears. I could go on for awhile, but I figure you have work to do so I’ll cut it short.

However, if you like beer, enjoy naked ladies, want some tasty wings, hate paying taxes and were cooler than everyone else at your High School, (but they just didn’t know it) head on down to Portland.

Oh yeah, you better like PBR, black-rimmed glasses and Democrats as well…

Portland is pretty open-minded, as long as you agree with everyone else.