30 minus 1

Another birthday has come and gone.

I’ve gotta say this one has a lil more significance than years past.

If only because 29 sounds like an actual adult’s age. I really don’t think of myself as an adult…And I’m willing to bet that if you ask many of my friends, they will agree with me.

The past year has been an interesting one. From having best friends move away, to buying my first home to being laid-off. It was a year of ups-and-downs.

Even accounting for the few downs, my 28th year was a great one.

I was afforded a luxury most people my age don’t get, time…

My lay-off this past summer wasn’t a surprise, so I was able to put myself in a position to take a summer break. During that time I was able to re-connect with old friends and even got to work with a life coach to explore who I am and who/where I want to be.

Introspection, which is not to be confused with being self-centered, is a very overlooked activity by most folks my age. Taking the time to figure-out what is important to you often takes a backseat when trying to just pay bills and keep up with the Jones’.

What have I learned about myself? First-off that I need a lot more time to figure myself out. I have absolutely no idea what I want to be doing in this world, but I am pretty sure that what I am doing now isn’t it.

I also learned thee value of friendship. Without my good friends I am not sure that I could have gotten through my extended summer “break.” It was their encouragement and faith in my abilities that saw me through what could have been spirit-breaking times.

I also learned that a big part of friendship is letting those you care about know it. And to those of you I haven’t had a chance to say it; “Thank you very much for your support. I appreciate you.” It may sound hokey, but I it’s truly how I feel and if being genuine is hokey to you, then perhaps you need to re-examine your world view.

From introspection I came to learn the value of solitude. It’s a complex thing. It can all-at-once be empowering and depressing. Insightful and a roadblock. It is unique, as one can be sitting in a room full of people and still feel completely alone. Or one can be sitting at home alone and obnoxious neighbors remind you that people are everywhere.

It is this solitude that allowed for my introspection as well as my desire to reach-out and reconnect with old friends. It is time spent alone that allows me to ponder and reflect and come-up with the ramblings that constitute my blog. It was also this time alone that created feelings of disconnectedness and loneliness. It’s a funny thing about solitude and being alone, they are very easy emotions to come across, yet they can be nearly impossible to remedy. I’ve found that the best defense to loneliness is a great offense: Pick-up a phone, IM, text…People are social beings, all it takes is a little effort to make something happen.

On a lighter note, I have accomplished most of the goals I set-out for myself last year.

I’ve:
- Bought a home.
- Paid-off my car.
- Lost 45 pounds.
- Dated a bit, but am still looking for Miss Right.
- Started writing again.

So what is on tap for my 29th year?
- Find a new job. Be it a promotion or change in career.
- Start writing a book. I don’t expect to have anyone read it, but it’s something I want to do for myself.
- Read more. At least 6 books this year.
- Re-connect with my faith. Most folks wouldn’t know that I am a Christian, who prays every night. That is a sad commentary on my personal convictions.
- Lose another 15 pounds.
- Meet new people and be more outgoing. Maybe even meet a nice lady who doesn’t mind spending time with me.
- Travel. Maybe, just maybe, finally make it to Europe.

My old boss promoted the idea of setting goals for yourself and writing them down. I wasn’t too big on the idea until he let us out of work an hour early if we could show him our list. A year after drafting the list, I’m amazed at how well it has worked. If nothing else, it was great self-affirmation to go back and see what I had accomplished. I recommend taking 30 minutes and drafting a list for yourself. It’s not a bad habit.

I am not in a bad place in life. I am not as happy as I’d like to be, but I have a good idea of what I need to do to remedy those ailings. And if there is one thing this past year has taught me, it is to value what you have instead of focusing on what you don’t. That seems to be a re-occurring mantra for me, it seems so simple but it keeps complex problems in perspective.