Thursday, September 25, 2008

What IPA taught me about the ladies.

I was recently IMing with a buddy of mine at work…as I often do.

Lamenting my poor memory, which I attribute almost directly to overconsumption of beer.

I typed something to the effect of: “Damn beer! Though I could never stay mad at you.”

And it got me to thinking…Beer is a lot like women:

- Both are expensive and I can easily spend a lot of money on them.
- There are numerous options, but you usually end-up choosing just one.
- Very little in this world is more flummoxing than trying to open a stubborn bottle of beer or approaching a lady for the first time.
- Little is more satisfying than the first sip of beer or realizing you are ‘in.’
- Both can make you look like an ass. And though you swear you’ll never do it again, you know you will.
- Hair of the dog is the best way to get over a hang-over…and the best way to get over an ‘Ex’ is to get a new ‘Current.’

This list could go on for awhile, so I'll end it here, but feel free to add more in the comments section.

Just when I thought beer was one of the few simple pleasures in this chaotic sea of life, I come to realize its beguiling and complex nature.

Which is not to say that beer is as complex or beguiling as a lady (and really, what is?), but there’s more than meets the eye for sure.

Therein lies the beauty of each. And the lesson to be learned.

I am a results-oriented problem-solving kinda guy. So my entire dating life, I’ve been trying to figure women-out, like some sort of puzzle. While I’ve approached beer from a totally different perspective.

I don’t go to the bar to learn the chemical make-up of beer, I go out to drink the stuff.

Instead of looking at women as a puzzle to be solved, I am much better served meeting new folks, enjoying their company and letting their complexities reveal themselves.

*K.I.S.S.- Keep it simple stupid.

So who’da thought? Beer can (no pun intended), teach me about women.

So in the interest of self-betterment, I think I need to crack another cold one…

I’ve got a lot more to learn.



*Shout-out to Mr. Collins, my HS science teacher who taught me the phrase.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Indeed. I can see the resemblence. Me myself, ironically am not a beer type guy. I prefer either total foo-foo (for the taste) or simple straight hard A (for the taste...and the ass whoopin').

But I must ask the question: Are you speaking of women, or relationships in general. And by that I simply mean...the art of engaging with people, for any number of reasons. Alcohol in general can be very much the same way. I prefer all types of people...the simple (foo foo) for hanging out...or the hard ones who will give me an ass whoopin when I need it.

Thanks for reading...

Anonymous said...

OK, here I am, reading your damn blog :) And I have to say, while your comparisons are funny, no, I do not agree that beer is like a lady. I, being somewhat lady-ish, like to think I'm a wee bit more complex. For example, has a beer ever hit you with a spoon? No. Have I? Repeatedly. Pain is good JR, be it pain from a hangover or pain from a crappy relationship. Damn, I just carried your point for you. You owe me a beer.