Monday, April 5, 2010

So many light bulbs...

Well, as the six of you who read my blog may have noticed, I’ve taken a recent hiatus from the whole writing thing.

There are many a reason for my absence, not the least of which is laziness. But after 100+ posts, I noticed the blog was getting a bit stale.

Especially after my last post which I am pretty proud of and was seemingly well-received. I decided that I should take some time-off to recharge the batteries, in an attempt to keep all future posts on par with that last one. I mean, if you folks are gonna take the 5 minutes to read it, the least I can do is make it something worthwhile.

So given the decidedly ‘upbeat’ feel to my last post, I’ve decided to keep the “feel goods” coming. Which means that moving forward, I will try to focus on the positive. Disclaimer: I am not saying that I will never rant again, especially if I feel it needs to be said. But there is enough negativity in the world, just look at the news, why would I want to add to someone’s miserable day?

With that in mind, I present to you the first post of a new age.

And speaking of a new age, I am closing-out my 3rd decade on this rock we call Earth and staring-down 31 pretty hard. But this year a few things started to really click for me. And honestly, it’s about damn time.

Topping the list of clicking items was a new mantra for life. Which, oddly enough, came to me while sitting on a bar stool.

I was chatting with a buddy about women and life in general and I muttered the following phrase, “You can’t live life assuming the worst possible outcome.”

It was yet another of those ‘light bulb’ moments that I keep talking about. And when I saw his eyes light-up as the idea bounced around in his cranium, I figured I might be on to something.

Now what does the phrase mean? To be honest, I am still trying to figure that out.

But since I coined the phrase* I figured I’d spout-off and share what I’ve got thus far.

For the first 18 years of my life and probably a good part of my 20’s I was the ‘good kid.’ I got good grades, worked hard and was dependable. I did what I thought everyone wanted me to do. Even if doing so didn’t always coincide with what I actually wanted to do or who I actually was.

Those pesky teenage years are always fraught with insecurities and figuring-out who you are. But as I got older, other folks seemed to be getting more comfortable in their skin and I just felt overworked. Instead of figuring-out who I was, I was too busy maintaining the expectations I perceived as being placed on me.

I didn’t know what would happen if I didn’t get an A or if I didn’t make it to work or if I didn’t…etc.

I’d been living life assuming the worst possible outcome. Or more concisely, I was living life to AVOID the worst possible outcome.

Which taken at face value, sounds like a reasonable way to live life. So I went on living that way, for years.

Then one day, as I sat on the edge of my bed, desperately trying to summon the will to trudge into a job I hated with the passion of 10 jihadists, I came to a realization.

While spending my time avoiding the worst possible outcomes, I was missing out on some really great experiences. If you always live to avoid trouble, you can never take an unnecessary risk. And at 30, I’m finding it’s the unnecessary risks that make life worth living. Sometimes the safe choice isn’t the right choice.

If you live life assuming the worst possible outcome, you’ll never approach a woman, because she’ll probably say ‘No.’

If you live life assuming the worst possible outcome, you’ll never travel because you have to save for that ‘rainy day’ which is probably never going to come.

You get the idea.

Living a safe, reasonable life, while all well and good, is pretty boring.

Life is a gift. Instead of treating it like a classic car that sits in the garage under a car cover, take it out for a spin on the coast! Sure, you run the risk of wrecking the car, but what’s the point of owning a convertible if you never take the top down?

I’ve been told that I don’t seem to care anymore. Not in a ‘Murdoch from the A-Team’ kinda way, but in a ‘Jimmy Buffet’ song kinda way.

Which is 100% correct, I don’t really care and I am less stressed as a result.

Do I have it all figured-out? Hell no.

But am I far more OK with that being the case? Hell yeah.

*If I didn’t coin that phrase and there’s credit I should be giving someone else, please leave a comment so that I can give props.